Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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