I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
