he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
