Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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