Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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