My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
