I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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