Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
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That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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