All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
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No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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