I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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