I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
