So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
