I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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