No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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