I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
