how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize