hell yes lets make some ravioli
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
