Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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