Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize