I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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