is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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