her vagine was all disorganized.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
