woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
