she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dicks are not precious.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
