I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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