I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
