New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
