thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
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You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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