Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We just shotgunned beers for America
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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