I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
