and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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