she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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