I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
