If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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