Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize