ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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