whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
