I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
