I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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