Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
