As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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