could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
