omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
