What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
