i just google imaged poop.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
