There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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