i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.