Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.