We're facebook friends in real life
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
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