he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.