Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
