i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
