I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
