Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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