I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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