I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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