I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
