hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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