how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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