It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Bring me that man meat
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
