i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
