Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
