The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
