Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
