i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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