I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I seem to have left my pride at pride
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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