You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
