If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
