is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
