Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
